body dysmorphia

Its not body dysmorphia if its true. That's what I tell myself. 

Others however, they disagree, they say im seeing myself the way I used to look. Ive dropped 7 clothes sizes. I know that, but it has to be a trick right? Someone's changing the labels, something. 

I never used to have issues with my body image and my eating, but it soon turned into an obsession. I spend hours of the day looking at myself, I sometimes don't know if I want to stare at the mirror, avoid it, or smash it. I see all my flaws. My weight,  my scars, every imperfection.

I would give anything to change this body I'm in. But no matter what I do, my size remains the same - at least in my head.

I've taken drastic measures, and I consider drastic measures every day. 

Its isolating and lonely feeling this way. Its also a little scary. How far will I go to see what I want to - the truth. Is it even possible?

I feel trapped in a body i dont want and a mind that plays tricks on me.

It's not body dysmorphia if its true. That's what I tell myself.